Storytelling is important. Words give our lives meaning.

I won't bore you with my credentials, but I will say that I have been a lifelong student of anything sexual. Movies, books, porn, academic journals, mental health—learning about sex and having sex are some of the most enjoyable experiences in my life. Before you think I'm purely prurient or just here to brag, let me offer this: most of us don't know about exciting possibilities until we learn from the experiences of others. The breadth of human experience does not exist in a vacuum, and this is especially true for human sexuality. This is why I write.

I've dabbled in porn and write erotica. I've been a swinger and still discuss non-monogamy with my husband. I am bisexual and a switch. I seek what feels good and am willing to try anything twice. I found my sexuality before anyone knew to talk to me about sex—not that they would have even if they had known. I had to figure out a lot on my own. Much of it was clumsy, and some of it was painful, but it gave me experience. Through that experience, I gained resilience and even more curiosity.

I grew up a dancer and applied that to burlesque for a few years. One day after practice, a dance mate asked me, "How do you do it? How do you look like you want to have sex with everyone?" I was shocked at her assessment but realized she was right. I could access a space of sexual expression that other people either couldn't access or actively resisted.

This is my privilege. I know not everyone has this space. I know not everyone can even imagine what that space looks like for them. I'd like to think that knowing and normalizing sex and pleasure can help people (1) want this space without shame, (2) begin to imagine this space, and (3) advocate for this space with others.

And even if, like me, you already move in sexual spaces with curiosity and ease, I hope you're able to find validation in the stories and information I share. That way, you can keep that sexual space secure. And who knows? Maybe you'll learn something new.